Are you one of the seventy or so US Attorneys who isn't yet directly implicated in USAGate?
Guess what? The rules have changed. Between here and January '09, you have nothing to worry about. Want to fax a photocopy of your hairy ass to some pinhead up at Main Justice? Go for it. And that business about serving at the pleasure of the president? That's over baby - you serve at your own pleasure now. GW himself couldn't change a light bulb in your office now without Patrick Leahy subpoenaing the receipt he got for it at Home Depot.
Job security. That's the good news.
Now for the bad news. You're a hack.
That's right - a big, fat, air-headed, god-fearing, no-talent political hack who thinks that God speaks directly to us through Pat Robertson. You got your job specifically because you're a mendacious boob.
You may not feel like a hack, you may not look like a hack, you may not have acted like a hack, but there it is. Life ain't fair - it paints with a broad brush and you just got painted. That entry on your resume that says "US Attorney - 2001 to Jan 2009" might as well be a coffee stain or a stint in rehab for all the good it's going to do you down the road. It's a big fat hack stamp on an otherwise promising career.
People are going to look at that, and look at you, and think to themselves
"so that's what a loyal Bushie looks like - I wonder if he believes in evolution".
They may even ask you if you know Rachel Paulose and Monica Goodling before they laugh you out of their office.
Kind of a pickle, eh? Especially for a guy with political ambition. A future of "what might have been" with your stint as a loyal Bushie dragging behind you like a ball on a chain. Could be a long time in the desert for a guy carrying that kind of baggage. Really something to look forward to.
What's that you say? You're NOT a loyal Bushie? Funny thing that - it might be true and it might not. Unfortunately, as of 1/22/2009 even Laura and Barney won't admit to having been loyal Bushies. Ever hear of a Frenchman who admitted working for Vichy? Me neither.
What you say two years from now doesn't count. It's what you do now that counts.
Starting to get the picture? Need it spelled out for you? Okay, first off, it's time to get friendly with your local investigative reporter. Did you get a visit from some snot-nosed commissar that didn't sit right? A call from some politico who made vaguely threatening noises? The people want to know.
Feeling big and brave, emboldened perhaps by that newfound job security? I'm just guessing here, but didn't Jack Abramoff make a phone call to someone in your district once? That should really be looked into. In fact, isn't there a Republican Congressman in your district? That's enough right there to start an investigation. Indictments aren't necessary. Just cast your own little ray of sunlight on some dark corner of the Bush administration.
You get the picture I think. The prism through which Bush-era US Attorneys will be viewed has been cast. When prospective employers/voters look at your tenure through that prism, they can see Rachel Paulose or Pat Fitzgerald.
You have less than 2 years to form that image.
